Someday, someone might come
some time when everything’s fine
Someone who will stay by my side
all through the yellows and blues of life.
Blogging it with ATTITUDE
“As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death. ” - George Bernard Shaw
Satisfaction is never present in my life’s dictionary. It is something I always try to add but I really can’t. Maybe because it’s not yet the right time for this word to appear in it.
Like what George Bernard Shaw said in his book Overruled, having a want is having a reason to live. All people in this world are driven to move forward in their desire to fulfill their wants. I am just the same.
Short-term or long-term, we all have our dreams to fulfill. One can never say that he’s fully satisfied unless he has achieved everything he wants. Unless he’s already at rest.
According to many astrologers, Cancer is the most complex sign of the zodiac since it is ruled by the Moon. A heavenly body that often changes phase like a woman who frequently changes moods.
For the positive traits, Cancerians are known to be emotional and loving, intuitive and imaginative, shrewd and cautious, protective and sympathetic. Cancerians value family and home a lot. In this people, you can find security and comfort.
Of course, no zodiac sign is perfect so there are also not-so-good attributes of Cancerians among them are: changeable and moody, overemotional and touchy, clinging and unable to let go.
While reading a Cancerian’s personality, I can say that indeed it matches me. I am emotional and tend to be exaggerated about it. Sometimes I react easily and allow myself to be carried away by how I feel at that time. No I am not tactless. In fact, I am very careful with the words coming out from my lips. I protect people who matter to me that sometimes I tend to protect them more than myself.
I am a writer and of course I am imaginative too and changeable. There are times when I prefer to be quiet and think of some adventures in a faraway land. There are moments when I fall asleep imagining how things would be like if I have supernatural powers or a different identity. With these ideas, I struggle with one problem. Should I write about them or not? Then when I do, sometimes I change my mind at the very last minute, thinking it’s better for it to remain as an idea.
So I guess, I really am a Cancerian.
***More to come for my 30-day Blog Challenge
Today, the challenge asks me to write about 30 interesting things about myself. Well, I’m not really sure what’s interesting about me. So, I’ll just give you 30 things about myself. No more explanations. No extra details. Just these 30.
Here we go…
*** More to come for my 30-day Blog Challenge
Writers are full of eccentricities. Most of them are over-sensitive and highly emotional. There are also some who are super quiet in the outside but are so loud in their thoughts. I am all of them.
I started writing at the age of ten. The same age when I was at a loss for words on what’s happening in my family. I didn’t know how to express myself out loud. So unlike me for I am known as a talkative person. Someone who even excels in oratorical competitions. I found comfort and freedom with a pen and paper.
Since then, writing became my defense mechanism. When I have to shut myself from the world, I write. But writing also drove me to the edge. I learned that writing is a form of catharsis but sometimes catharsis doesn’t do me good. And during these times, demons fill my head. I want to give up.
The last time it happened was early this year. Suddenly losing your job. Problems at home. Stress. All of them happening at once.
I know things will be fine but I’m too tired to fight. I thought, how should I end everything? I thought, I shouldn’t do something that will make me ugly in the end. I also don’t want to feel any pain at my last few seconds. So how should I end it?
Thankfully, my friends are there… I didn’t have to think of the answers.
It was a hard struggle. Sometimes, I still experience it and I pray hard not to give in.
So I write.