Archive for the 'Three Love Stories: The Series' Category

Three Love Stories: Jane’s interview about Y

Previously…

“I may not be contented with whatever we have, but at least I am happy that he’s here with me. Call me crazy, but yes, I can still feel anger whenever I recall the things he had done. I also do not trust him fully – whether he’s screwing up with someone else if we’re not together. Yet, I can’t also deny the fact that he’s also the only one who has the power to make me smile, make me excited and bring out my wild side.  Name it, he brings out the best and worst in me.”

 

Oh well… I’m still a bit speechless about Y’s story. Whew! And yeah, the MALDITA is back! Di ko alam kung paano ako mag-rereact sa mga nabasa ko eh… Kaya naman, hindi rin ako ang nag-interview kay Jane this time. I asked some readers of the series to give some questions for Jane about Y. So here they are…

1. What happened after ‘The Murder‘? (Nakakabitin eh. The Jane Ending doesn’t satisfy it.)

Jane’s answer:  Y became cold to me. He hardly kept in touch during my pregnancy. I gave birth without his presence. He only saw his son two months after the kid was born. Since then, our relationship changed. He built a huge wall between us. I tried to win him back but no matter how much I try, all my efforts were put to waste. Also, I discovered a few things about him having a relationship with another woman during the time when we were still together.

2. Where do you think Y is now? Do you still see each other?

Jane’s answer: I actually have no idea where he is. We do see each other sometimes when he visits our son. But his whereabouts, that I don’t know.

3. Has Y met his son? Does he provide any kind of support?

Jane’s answer: Of course. I never deprived him the chance to be a father. It was his dream to become one. Yes, he also supports the kid.

4. Is Y a responsible father to your son?

Jane’s answer: Define responsible, then I’ll answer. *smiles*

5. What if your dream came true and he asks for your hand in marriage, would you accept it?

Jane’s answer: If you were me, what will be your answer? (*chuckles*) Seriously, getting married is almost every girl’s dream. But then sometimes, our dreams are too far from reality. We dream of something because we think it’s cool or beautiful. Sometimes what we just like is the ceremony and not the thing itself. I’ve asked myself more than a hundred times after Y’s revelation, if time comes and he asks me to marry him, will I accept? I’ve found myself giving different answers in different times. I’ve considered so many things too as to why I should and why I should not accept. I can give you an answer now but I’m not sure if that answer remains the same later or tomorrow. So, I’d rather leave you intrigued and hanging. In short, NO COMMENT. 😛


6. Do you still love Y?

Jane’s answer: He played an important role in my life. I loved him so much. But now I’m not sure about my feelings for him. To me, he seems like a stranger already. I don’t know anything about him anymore.

7. If Y has read the 3 Love Stories, how do you think would he react to it?

Jane’s answer: I don’t know. Like what I’ve said, he seems like a stranger already. I don’t know what goes on in his mind. If he laughed about it, mocked it and thought that I’m so pathetic, or if he was surprised about it… I have no idea.

8. Of the 3 Love Stories, which one do you like best? Do you regret any?

Jane’s answer: This is a tough question. I like all of them but of course there are parts that I hate. But then what’s a love story if there are no bad times? Regrets? None. Just like what a famous novel says, love means never having to say you’re sorry. Why regret any of them? I was happy when I was in love with them. They gave me lots of sweet memories to cherish. Never mind the bad ones, I don’t wish to hold any grudges on them anymore. It’s time to let go once and for all.

9. Do you have a message for ‘all the girls he’s (Y) loved before’… and after?

Jane’s answer: None. I am not in the right position to give them any advice or whatsoever. 🙂

10. Do you have a message for Y?

Jane’s answer: Yup. Just a simple thank you for everything.

11. By the way, why is the ending with Y like that?

Jane’s answer: Well, that’s how I pictured us in the future, two years ago. I know most readers are confused with the ending. They might say I’m stupid for still loving him but that was what I wanted before. I wrote that ending during a time I was confused too with my feelings. When there was a chance for me to love someone else. And yet, I still chose him. Because that time, I believed in him. In US.

12. Are you angry at Y because of all that he did to you?

Jane’s answer: Honestly I don’t know how to express myself. Paano mo magagawang magalit sa isang tao na di rin kayang ipakita ang totoo niyang nararamdaman? May pagkakataon na ipaparamdam niya sa’yo na mahal ka talaga niya tapos may pagkakataon rin na ramdam mong wala na talaga. If he doesn’t love me anymore, fine. But say it straight. I’d be more thankful if he’ll do that than make me believe that he still feels for me. So, I’d rather not express anything and exert any effort at all for him too.

13. How do you feel now after having your preferred ending for Y posted in the blog?

Jane’s answer: Sa totoo lang, natawa ako nung binasa ko siya. Naisip ko, magustuhan kaya ng readers yung ending na yun? Kasi when I tried to put myself in the readers’ shoes, naisip ko rin na parang mali yung ending eh. Then, the blog owner told me that she’s been getting feedback nga about the ending. Di raw nga nagustuhan. Sabi ko i-explain mo na lang. Instead, she fired back at me saying “Why don’t you explain to them instead?” Kaya ayun nga, sinagot ko in your previous question.

14. In follow-up to the previous question, bakit di mo na lang pinalitan yung ending mo about Y?

Jane’s answer: Naisip ko na rin gawin yan kaya lang, parang nawalan naman ng purpose ang lahat. I mean, from the very first, I already said that I wanted to have new and different endings. Kumbaga, puro wishful thinking ko. It means, they are all fantasies. I know from the start that there’s like 80% probability that those endings won’t come true. Kaya kahit nagkaroon na ako ng idea lately na palitan yung ending, I didn’t do it.

15. Did you have a hard time reading your story about Y?

 Jane’s answer: Yes, it was hard. I felt pain again and even cried at some parts. Worse thing about it is that I saw the ‘me’ years ago and pitied her. While reading the story, I kept on asking, Why does she have to go through all those things? Why love someone so much who is not even worthy? Why did she believed in him so much? It’s tough to go back and feel everything again. But I’m glad it’s all over. 🙂

Also, allow me to thank all the readers who endured the drama and even sent their comments and questions. I wish you all enjoyed the series. And, I also hoped you learned a lot from it as much as I did. Never lose faith in love. I’ve lost my faith on it before, but then I discovered that I can’t be that bitter just because of one failed relationship. Open your heart and love again. Don’t be afraid but be careful.  Thank you so much…

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Three Love Stories: Jane’s preferred ending with Y

Previously…

“I thought it was clear to him before that if we’re going to have a child I don’t want him to experience what I’ve had with my parents. We’ve talked about it before… but here we are. There he was, talking about things that would bring a gloomy future to us.”

(Blogger’s notice: The ending here was based on the email sent by Jane two years ago… ‘Hope you’ll enjoy it.)

I wonder what’s the occasion. Why should I dress up this much? I glanced at my reflection one last time at the mirror. My hair was ironed straight to perfection. I sported a glamorous look with the help of some make-up and this red dress I’m wearing. I’m glad I was able to photographed myself a while ago. Sayang naman ang pagpapaganda ko kung walang remembrance.

I grabbed my purse. Then, I threw another glance at the mirror and left the room.

The skies are well-adorned tonight, I thought as I continued to ascend the stairs carefully. I took time in every step I made.  I held the banister to make sure that I won’t trip. It would be too embarrassing to lose composure in this outfit. Then, I noticed that something’s missing on my hands.

Shit! I forgot to wear my class ring and the ring that mom gave! Kaya pala, I feel like I’m naked. I must have left them on my table at home. Sighs. Now I’m really uncomfortable.

It’s too late to get them now. So, I just decided to go on without them. When I reached the last step. I can’t help but gasped at the sight before me.

*   *   *

There were small candles in glasses everywhere .  A soft melody was playing in the background. There in the middle was a table surrounded by four pillars decorated with different flowers.  I walked slowly to the direction of the man seated on the table for two. He had his back at me. And even though I can’t see his face, just by looking at his posture, I already know who he is.

When I’m already a few inches by the table, it was only then that I noticed that there’s already a dish waiting to be opened at the table. Am I that late that dinner was already served? I asked myself.  Its lid sparkled as candle lights flickered and danced along with the gentle breeze.

“Hi Gorgeous. You’re late.” said Y as he turned to face me. He was wearing a fake frown on his face.

“I’m not late Sweetie. You’re just too early” I replied coolly and beamed at him.

“Palusot ka pa.” then he smiled.

I was about to take the seat across him when he reached for my hand. He held them for a while and studied my fingers.

“Buti naman at di mo suot ang mga singsing mo ngayon”

“Bakit naman?”

“Coz they don’t go with the outfit, Sweetie. And they won’t go anymore with anything you’ll wear after tonight.”

I was about to fire more questions when he pulled me a bit more and motioned me to sit on his lap. I was quite hesitant but still, I obeyed.

When I was already seated, I can’t help but be mesmerized by his fragrance. My mind started to get clouded even if the wine hasn’t even been served. He wrapped his arms around me, raised my face with one hand and pressed his lips against mine.

The temperature rose even as he stopped kissing me. His right hand started to reach for the lid of the dish on the table. When he opened it, a shining object flashed before my eyes. He took the object and whispered to my ear…

“From now on, I want you to wear this…”

A thousand butterflies started to fill my stomach, all fluttering as if to look for a bigger space. Y was intently staring straight at me and I can’t move. Everything seemed to be frozen. Like only me and Y existed at that moment. I could hear the loud pounding of our hearts.

“Look Sweetie, I’m not asking you… I’m telling you…”

And tears started to gather in my eyes as I listened to him say the words. They were the things I wanted to hear from him long ago. I blinked hard. I won’t cry. I could feel him holding me tight. I closed my eyes to stop my tears from falling.

*   *   *

Slowly, I began to open my eyes. There were no candle lights. No music.

When my eyes finally adjusted to the dim light,  I was a bit surprised to be lying  on the bed with Y sleeping beside me. I paused for a moment until realization hit. So, it actually didn’t happen, I murmured. I must have been so tired after walking around UST and enjoying the Paskuhan. I dreamt too much. Then, I gazed at Y longingly and sighed. I studied him for a while and listened to his snores.

He still snores loudly like the way he used to, I said to myself. And, slowly and gently I planted a kiss on his lips. Careful enough for him not to wake up.

Looking back at the things we went through, I think I won’t be asking for anything more to this man (even if I’m still hoping…). Let time decide for both of us, for what will happen. When all wounds are finally healed, maybe there would be a beautiful beginning that awaits us. But right now, I’ll just enjoy moments like this.

I may not be contented with whatever we have, but at least I am happy that he’s here with me. Call me crazy, but yes, I can still feel anger whenever I recall the things he had done. I also do not trust him fully – whether he’s screwing up with someone else if we’re not together. Yet, I can’t also deny the fact that he’s also the only one who has the power to make me smile, make me excited and bring out my wild side.  Name it, he brings out the best and worst in me.

While I was brushing his hair with my hands, Y opened his eyes a bit. He smiled, gently pulled me closer to him and enveloped me in his arms.

The sun rays are starting to enter the room. I snuggled against Y’s broad chest, my sweet haven. I closed my eyes and said a prayer.

It’s a new day, I whispered to myself.

 

 – It’s not the end coz I think it will never end…

 

Next: Jane’s Interview About Y

Three Love Stories: The ‘Murder’

Previously…

“I can’t believe we’re having a baby then… A picture of a happy family quickly filled my thoughts. I can’t wait for Y to be back.”

 

April 2008.

After work, I went to the clinic for my pre-natal check-up. I’ve gotten used to going alone to see the gynecologist. However, today it’s different. Y accompanied me to the doctor. I guess it’s because he also wanted to see the ultrasound image of our son.

And so, we went back to my rented place together after my pre-natal check-up. It was a wonderful moment seeing an ultrasound image of our little one. Y kept on smiling on our way home. Then, he planned to rest for a while at my place before going home. However, he stayed for the night because of some reasons.

We talked about matters concerning our son. What would be our set-up. Where I’m going to stay temporarily after giving birth. How my parents reacted when they learned about my pregnancy. And of course, what they would expect from us – like getting married perhaps.

Having ran out of topics to discuss, we both remained quiet. Until, he finally broke the silence…

“Have I told you before why I’m not the marrying type?”

I shook my head and stared at him in confusion.

And so, he started with his revelation. He’s not the marrying type because he can’t. According to him, he had already tied the knot with Ciara years before in Cebu. Yet, they also separated. Ciara flew to China and he went here in the Capital to work. But legally speaking, they’re still together.

As much as his words sank deep into my heart and tore me into pieces, I can’t accept what I was hearing. I refused to. Worst, I can’t accept the kind of future that me and my son would be having. It’s like history repeating itself.

I can’t look at him. I was afraid to. I was afraid that if I would, I might beg to him. I can’t make myself more pathetic than I already was at that moment.

All I could do was sob. I felt like a little child whose most precious toy was taken away. Well, I felt robbed that time. My dreams crumbled right before my eyes. Even if I felt like hitting on the man, I can’t. I felt so weak. Even speechless to say anything. Motionless and defeated.

Flashbacks of our sweet moments together flooded my mind. Those sweet words… Our office romance. Going home together. His promise to always make me happy. Rainy nights cuddling together. Pizza and red wine with movies. The fireworks. The kisses. All those sweet text messages. All the “I love you”. Meeting his mom. Our birthdays. The Eco-Park kiss. Living together. And, our first anniversary. Everything played swiftly in my mind. Each scene passed, left me and pierced my heart.

I suddenly felt sick about them especially that moment when he asked me if I love him enough to marry him. They don’t seem real to me anymore. Everything seemed fake already.

Did he just played with me? Why didn’t he tell me the truth before?

I recalled that night when he told me about Ciara. He was even teary-eyed that time. I thought it was just a failed relationship that he cherished most. A relationship that might have brought him a child. He didn’t tell me that there was something more… Why didn’t he told me before? Why just now?

Then, I also recalled that time when we talked about us. I thought it was clear to him before that if we’re going to have a child I don’t want him to experience what I’ve had with my parents. We’ve talked about it before… but here we are. There he was, talking about things that would bring a gloomy future to us. What will happen to me and my baby? How am I going to explain everything to my family? How am I going to explain all these to my son in the future?

I continued sobbing like there’s no tomorrow. I curled up on the bed and turned my back at him. He tried comforting me but it was no use. Then, he was suddenly upset. Perhaps he was worried about the baby. He was pleading to me to stop and drink some water. But I can’t. Even if I found it hard to breathe already, my body just can’t move.  There’s no energy left in me to move.

And even his presence that time was killing me…

Tears just won’t stop falling even though I already tried to control them for my baby’s sake. In the end, I found myself  even calling out “Mommy” and “Daddy” softly as though I’m a little child crying out for help. I don’t know if he heard it. I don’t care.

His embrace gave me chills. His comforting words fueled my wrath. All I thought of at that moment is that I hate myself. And that, I’ve started hating him too.

And whenever I recall that night, I still feel weak and sick about his revelations.

It was the murder of my dreams and hopes.

So that time, I told myself that I shall bury that moment deep in my memory where somehow I could forget it as if it never happened at all. Like it’s just one of those terrible nightmares. And, maybe through this, the pain would subside…

 

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: Blessed but Blue Christmas

Previously…

“Saan ba tayo? Mag-ppropose ka na ba sa akin ngayon?”

I chuckled. Aren’t you supposed to be the one doing that? I thought.”

 

December 14, 2007. Y came to visit me for the last time this year. He’ll be leaving for Cebu on the weekend and might be back late January next year. He came with a home-cooked dish that he prepared. He’s been sweet to me lately. Perhaps, he felt guilty about leaving me during the Yuletide Season.

I gave him a massage while he did the talking. He noticed my silence. He asked what’s wrong. I said it’s hard for me to talk because my voice might give me away. With that, he did his best to cheer me up. I smiled a bit but I was still upset. So, I told him my worries.

I haven’t had my period. I’m delayed. He asked if I already tried doing a pregnancy test. I shook my head. I said I’m not yet ready but I plan to do it soon. By Monday, perhaps. I’ve observed that he was a bit nervous and was trying to hide it from me. He told me to update him whatever will be the result. I promised I would.

Before he went home, we exchanged Christmas gifts. He stressed out that I’ll find his gift amusing for it would remind me of something. Also, that I should read the card. I smiled. I’m sure gonna miss him…

***

December 17, 2007. I bought a pregnancy test kit in a drugstore overlooking the fact that I was wearing my college shirt. It was too late already when I noticed it. Still, I raised my chin and walked away. Anxious to get back to my place and know the results.

I followed the directions indicated at the back of the box. I placed the two different kits on a flat surface and waited for the lines to appear. I counted to 10.  Lines started to appear on both kits. Two lines each. It’s positive. I’m pregnant.

I was speechless for around five minutes. My mind went blank. A mixture of emotions whirled within me. I can’t take it alone. I got hold of my phone and texted Y. I told him I’m going to call and tell him something important.

I had a hard time contacting him. When I finally got through, a woman’s voice answered me. Then she called for her ‘master’. Y told me that he’s been waiting for my updates since morning. I told him I just finished doing the test. He’s going to be a father soon.

The reception started getting chappy. I can hardly hear what he’s saying. I can’t detect his reaction. Then he hung up. After a minute, I received a text saying that he’s happy about it and that I need to have a check-up soon.

I can’t believe we’re having a baby then… A picture of a happy family quickly filled my thoughts. I can’t wait for Y to be back.

***

“Ms n ms kta as in supr mega. Merry xmas Sweetie ko & Baby ko. I luv u.” (Sender: Y, Sent: 12:52:16pm 12-24-2007)

 

“Hi Sweetie? Kmsta kyo n baby? Ms u s much. Pls tkr. Muah! Muah! Muah!” (Sender: Y, Sent: 05:25:37pm 12-28-2007)

 

“Happy New Year Sweetie ko.. i love you. mwah! mwah! mwah!” (Sender:Y, Sent: 01:04:00am 01-01-2008)

 

***

New Year came and there’s no news as to the exact date on when Y will be coming back. My Mom and relatives have already learned about my pregnancy and they wanted to talk to Y about his plans. Good thing Dad is currently abroad. Or else, I’ll be more pressured.

Days passed by and my fears grew intense. What if he won’t come back anymore? Paano na ako? Paano na kami ng anak ko? Baka naman niloloko na niya ako…

I started to have a regular check-up with a gynecologist. Thank God I have a health card, it saved me a lot in terms of my pre-natal expenses. All I have to buy are the vitamins.

I tried my best to keep myself healthy for my baby’s sake. I did everything required for me to do and never missed a single appointment with the doctor. But then, there’s always that lonely feeling that creeps in my heart everytime I have a check-up. I was always teary-eyed whenever I see couples talking about their soon-to-be-born baby while waiting for their turn to see the doctor. The father listening to the womb of the mom. It’s a sight to behold. A sight that I’ve always envied.

It would have been better if I was the mom and Y was the father in that picture. It would have been better if I wasn’t watching and I was the one experiencing it instead. I wouldn’t have felt like this, if Y was here with me…

And so I wish that hopefully, Y could accompany me in one of my check-ups… That he’ll be back soon.

 

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: The House Arrest

Previously…

“Ikaw, hindi kita iiwan. Wala akong mahanap na rason para iwan ka eh.”

 

November 2007.  Friday. It was the date that marked our first year together. Our first anniversary.

Y said he’s not used to celebrating anniversaries but he cooperated well on that day. He texted me and greeted me early in the morning. We agreed to meet later after my work. We’re going to have dinner.

At around 5:45 p.m. I received a text message. It’s from Y. He said that he’s already outside, waiting for me. I told him he’s a bit early. Wait for me and I’ll be out in a while.

I quickly shut down my computer and went to the ladies’ room to change my clothes. Yup, I had clothes prepared for the occasion. A pink spaghetti blouse and a black mini skirt. After changing, I carefully washed my face and applied make-up. When I went out of the ladies’ room, some officemates were teasing me on how dressed I am. I just smiled and told them I have a date.

I went outside and met Y. I was quite disappointed that he didn’t bother to give me flowers (but then, that’s just really the way he is). Still, I’m in such a good mood. I greeted him and smiled. He looked pleased with my appearance then he said…

“Saan ba tayo? Mag-ppropose ka na ba sa akin ngayon?”

I chuckled. Aren’t you supposed to be the one doing that? I thought.

We hailed a cab and I told the driver to take us to Marikina Shoe Expo at Cubao. Y wondered why I was taking him there. When we arrived, I told him that we’ll be eating at Bellini’s. It is a popular Italian restaurant perfect for lovers on a date, an officemate recommended it to me. We entered the restaurant, took our seats and gave our orders. Pasta, pizza, sweet wine, pannacotta and tiramisu.

As we ate, a blind man played the guitar and sang some love songs. It was such a fabulous evening. Very romantic. And the mood grew lovelier when the blind man sang one of my favorites. The song “Is it okay if I call you mine?”

I listened to the song and gazed at Y who was sipping his wine. He gazed back at me, placed the glass down and leaned closer.

“Sweetie… This song… I’d like to dedicate it to you,” he said almost in whisper. Then he winked at me and smiled.

I suddenly felt warm. It must be because of the wine. Or, I think I blushed.

When we went home, we chatted a bit with some acoustic love songs on the background. I slept in his arms and looked forward to the next day. (I planned to hold him at least in the next 36 hours)

***

The following day, we decided to go out and watch a movie in SM Mall of Asia. It was my first time to go there. We rode a bus and sat on one of the seats at the back. As the bus passed by under a fly-over, we stolel kisses.  Everything felt so right that time.

We watched the movie “Hitman” because there’s nothing good being shown in IMAX. Luckily, one of his favorite actors played the lead role. He liked the movie and I enjoyed it too. Afterwards, we dined at Pupung’s, a Pinoy resto decorated with some comic strips as wall background.

Before going home, we get to watch the fireworks display by the bay. That was the second fireworks we watched together. Very memorable. Watching the spectacles in the skies seemed to bring hope that we’ll stay strong in our next year together and in the other years to come…

***
Third day of our anniversary celebration. Sunday. Y told me that he had to leave already after lunch. He needs to go to the gym and do some work-out. His body had been missing a lot already. I frowned but a naughty idea crossed my mind.

I know a better way to work-out. I could even help you.  I thought.

So, I took a shower and planned on how to keep him with me for a few more hours. When I’m done, he took his turn. While he’s in the bathroom, I immediately went to the closet and picked out some clothes. Mix and match. I could do this!

I returned to my ritual – putting lotion on my body, etc. then prepared to dress-up for lunch. We agreed to eat out then part ways after. I changed clothes, put on some make-up and sprayed perfume all over. I noticed that Y kept on glancing at me. At last, he couldn’t help it…

“Anong plano mo after lunch? Bihis na bihis ka ah… Me lakad ka?” he asked.

“Wala.  Ayoko lang mapagkamalan na maid on a day-off kaya ganito bihis ko. Baka punta lang ako ng Trinoma, Gateway or Gale. Magkakape lang.”

“Okay”.

We went to Starmall where we ate our lunch. I noticed that Y still kept on glancing at me. I smiled secretly. I could sense victory already. I know I’ll win this. After all, I look so smashing and irresistible. That time, I was wearing a white printed tube top over a denim flair skirt. To add some effect, I also put on a black 3/4 sleeves bolero.

When we’re done with our lunch, we went out quietly from the restaurant. We’re about to approach the mall’s exit when Y asked me again…

“Saan mo balak magkape? Sa suot mo, bagay ka ngayon sa Eastwood or Greenbelt eh”

“Di ko pa alam. Sa malapit lang. Either Gale or Trinoma.” I purposedly replied in the hope that he would invite me for coffee.

“Mag-decide ka na andito na tayo sa may exit oh…”

“Bakit sasamahan mo ba ako?”

“Oo”

“Eh di ikaw na mag-decide.”

And so, he accompanied me to Trinoma where we just had some coffee in Starbucks. Yes, he was not able to leave too. He stayed for the night and just left early the next morning.

It was a success. My House Arrest Mission was accomplished. I had my quality time with my Sweetie…

 

To be continued…


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