Can you still recall what is your usual answer in slum books whenever you’re asked who is your first love and first kiss?
During those times, many of us will avoid the question by answering “parents, brother, sister or relatives”. But as we grow older and encounter more people, we realize that this question will always pop up at some time in the year. We don’t know when but we know that we’ll always have a ready answer. After all, one’s first love is always unforgettable.
It was during the month of love, February, when I understood the meaning of love. I was so young back then. Confused if what I felt was just a simple infatuation or real love. But I was able to confirm it when I felt the pain that first love brings.
He is a tall, handsome and intelligent man. That’s how I always describe him even until now. He has a dazzling smile and his eyes twinkle every time he laughs. I think that made me fell for him. Those times we laugh together. It was his radiance and love for life that drew me to him.
He is my friend. My closest male friend, to be exact. That’s why I was so confused when my heart started to skip a beat whenever our eyes met. Still, we were always together. And then, I learned he started liking someone. The news tore my heart into pieces. I found myself crying at night. I knew right then, it’s love.
I never had the chance to tell him how I really felt. I was a coward. I know that what I feel is just one-sided. Besides, I love him too much to risk losing him. I’d rather be his friend forever.
And yes, he’s not my first kiss too.
Still, I don’t regret not confessing to him. I am happy now that he’s happy too. At least, we still have each other – as friends.