“I may not be contented with whatever we have, but at least I am happy that he’s here with me. Call me crazy, but yes, I can still feel anger whenever I recall the things he had done. I also do not trust him fully – whether he’s screwing up with someone else if we’re not together. Yet, I can’t also deny the fact that he’s also the only one who has the power to make me smile, make me excited and bring out my wild side. Name it, he brings out the best and worst in me.”
Oh well… I’m still a bit speechless about Y’s story. Whew! And yeah, the MALDITA is back! Di ko alam kung paano ako mag-rereact sa mga nabasa ko eh… Kaya naman, hindi rin ako ang nag-interview kay Jane this time. I asked some readers of the series to give some questions for Jane about Y. So here they are…
1. What happened after ‘The Murder‘? (Nakakabitin eh. The Jane Ending doesn’t satisfy it.)
Jane’s answer: Y became cold to me. He hardly kept in touch during my pregnancy. I gave birth without his presence. He only saw his son two months after the kid was born. Since then, our relationship changed. He built a huge wall between us. I tried to win him back but no matter how much I try, all my efforts were put to waste. Also, I discovered a few things about him having a relationship with another woman during the time when we were still together.
2. Where do you think Y is now? Do you still see each other?
Jane’s answer: I actually have no idea where he is. We do see each other sometimes when he visits our son. But his whereabouts, that I don’t know.
3. Has Y met his son? Does he provide any kind of support?
Jane’s answer: Of course. I never deprived him the chance to be a father. It was his dream to become one. Yes, he also supports the kid.
4. Is Y a responsible father to your son?
Jane’s answer: Define responsible, then I’ll answer. *smiles*
5. What if your dream came true and he asks for your hand in marriage, would you accept it?
Jane’s answer: If you were me, what will be your answer? (*chuckles*) Seriously, getting married is almost every girl’s dream. But then sometimes, our dreams are too far from reality. We dream of something because we think it’s cool or beautiful. Sometimes what we just like is the ceremony and not the thing itself. I’ve asked myself more than a hundred times after Y’s revelation, if time comes and he asks me to marry him, will I accept? I’ve found myself giving different answers in different times. I’ve considered so many things too as to why I should and why I should not accept. I can give you an answer now but I’m not sure if that answer remains the same later or tomorrow. So, I’d rather leave you intrigued and hanging. In short, NO COMMENT. :-P
6. Do you still love Y?
Jane’s answer: He played an important role in my life. I loved him so much. But now I’m not sure about my feelings for him. To me, he seems like a stranger already. I don’t know anything about him anymore.
7. If Y has read the 3 Love Stories, how do you think would he react to it?
Jane’s answer: I don’t know. Like what I’ve said, he seems like a stranger already. I don’t know what goes on in his mind. If he laughed about it, mocked it and thought that I’m so pathetic, or if he was surprised about it… I have no idea.
8. Of the 3 Love Stories, which one do you like best? Do you regret any?
Jane’s answer: This is a tough question. I like all of them but of course there are parts that I hate. But then what’s a love story if there are no bad times? Regrets? None. Just like what a famous novel says, love means never having to say you’re sorry. Why regret any of them? I was happy when I was in love with them. They gave me lots of sweet memories to cherish. Never mind the bad ones, I don’t wish to hold any grudges on them anymore. It’s time to let go once and for all.
9. Do you have a message for ‘all the girls he’s (Y) loved before’… and after?
Jane’s answer: None. I am not in the right position to give them any advice or whatsoever. :)
10. Do you have a message for Y?
Jane’s answer: Yup. Just a simple thank you for everything.
11. By the way, why is the ending with Y like that?
Jane’s answer: Well, that’s how I pictured us in the future, two years ago. I know most readers are confused with the ending. They might say I’m stupid for still loving him but that was what I wanted before. I wrote that ending during a time I was confused too with my feelings. When there was a chance for me to love someone else. And yet, I still chose him. Because that time, I believed in him. In US.
12. Are you angry at Y because of all that he did to you?
Jane’s answer: Honestly I don’t know how to express myself. Paano mo magagawang magalit sa isang tao na di rin kayang ipakita ang totoo niyang nararamdaman? May pagkakataon na ipaparamdam niya sa’yo na mahal ka talaga niya tapos may pagkakataon rin na ramdam mong wala na talaga. If he doesn’t love me anymore, fine. But say it straight. I’d be more thankful if he’ll do that than make me believe that he still feels for me. So, I’d rather not express anything and exert any effort at all for him too.
13. How do you feel now after having your preferred ending for Y posted in the blog?
Jane’s answer: Sa totoo lang, natawa ako nung binasa ko siya. Naisip ko, magustuhan kaya ng readers yung ending na yun? Kasi when I tried to put myself in the readers’ shoes, naisip ko rin na parang mali yung ending eh. Then, the blog owner told me that she’s been getting feedback nga about the ending. Di raw nga nagustuhan. Sabi ko i-explain mo na lang. Instead, she fired back at me saying “Why don’t you explain to them instead?” Kaya ayun nga, sinagot ko in your previous question.
14. In follow-up to the previous question, bakit di mo na lang pinalitan yung ending mo about Y?
Jane’s answer: Naisip ko na rin gawin yan kaya lang, parang nawalan naman ng purpose ang lahat. I mean, from the very first, I already said that I wanted to have new and different endings. Kumbaga, puro wishful thinking ko. It means, they are all fantasies. I know from the start that there’s like 80% probability that those endings won’t come true. Kaya kahit nagkaroon na ako ng idea lately na palitan yung ending, I didn’t do it.
15. Did you have a hard time reading your story about Y?
Jane’s answer: Yes, it was hard. I felt pain again and even cried at some parts. Worse thing about it is that I saw the ‘me’ years ago and pitied her. While reading the story, I kept on asking, Why does she have to go through all those things? Why love someone so much who is not even worthy? Why did she believed in him so much? It’s tough to go back and feel everything again. But I’m glad it’s all over. :-)
Also, allow me to thank all the readers who endured the drama and even sent their comments and questions. I wish you all enjoyed the series. And, I also hoped you learned a lot from it as much as I did. Never lose faith in love. I’ve lost my faith on it before, but then I discovered that I can’t be that bitter just because of one failed relationship. Open your heart and love again. Don’t be afraid but be careful. Thank you so much…