“I love you,” he answered. I tightened my embrace.
“I loved you,” he continued.“But my ideal girl doesn’t come cheap. Very unlike you, right? You’re a bitch just like any girl your age.”
A day or two after our quarrel, Y took away all his things in my room. He never came to visit me anymore. He didn’t bother to call nor even send me any text messages. I thought he was just trying to cool down.
A week passed without any news from him. I’ve come to realize… I guess, it’s over.
But I still won’t accept that it all ended up that way. He’s drunk that time. He’s probably embarrassed for the things he did. Maybe he didn’t really intend to hurt me. Yet, pain was inflicted. I can’t deny that his words left me wounds.
After the incident, I kept myself busy. I worked like a robot and looked like a zombie. I took a part-time writing job and I also started with my diet. After all, I don’t have an appetite lately. I might as well take advantage of it.
Whenever I was alone in the room, I’m often swallowed by depression. Those times were among the toughest ones in my life. I had a hard time budgeting my salary due to financial obligations I had to attend to. I had to stretch 300 bucks for a week. Later on, I got sick without anyone to depend on. It was that time when I conquered my fear of going to hospitals. I was able to reach one as I keep myself conscious from the dizziness and fever. All these, I survived without Y. It was a struggle trying to live without him.
Still, I miss him… And everytime I do, I just open the inbox of my phone to browse his past text messages.
I came across the ones when we were discussing about his being close to Cate…
“I wnt cz any cnflct. Il b a gu boy. Bsyds, i dn fl lyk it. Ms u mor dn anytng ls. I luv u.” (Sender: Y, Sent: 1:19:22 a.m. 03-11-2007)
“Tnx Sweetie. I wl nvr let a cnfused MILF lyk her 2 ruin ur precious trust on me. Pls tker.” (Sender: Y, Sent: 9:52:24 p.m. 03-27-2007)
Then, I began to wonder again if he really did it with Cate. I wish he didn’t. But I don’t know if I could convince myself anymore. After all the things he said to me, my faith in him has started to falter already.
One evening, I was lying in my bed trying to make myself sleepy when my cellphone buzzed. Who could it be? I thought. I have abandoned my hopes that Y would text me. After all, it’s been a long time already and I haven’t heard from him.
I grabbed the phone and read the message. To my surprise, it was really Y.
“Gud PM. I jst rcvrd frm a slyt heat stroke earlier. Im ok nw. 2day s jst so hot. Hw r u? Ms u.”
My heart skipped a beat. There’s still hope…