“Still, I miss him… And everytime I do, I just open the inbox of my phone to browse his past text messages.”
Little by little everything went back to normal between me and Y. It’s as though nothing happened. He was sweet to me again. Even bragged about my article that was published in the site of a major tv station to our former colleagues. He went back to calling me “Sweetie” again. I appreciated his gestures but to be honest, I still find it hard to get over what happened. I hid it from him.
June 2007. It was the date of my birthday. I woke up very early at the sound of my cellphone. One message received from Y.
“Happy Birthday To You! Muah! Muah! Muah!” It was the first greeting I received. I smiled and started to prepare myself for work.
I don’t have anything planned for the day. I just want to let it pass like any ordinary date. After all, I was never fond of the occasion. I’ve started hating it since after the humiliation I had because of Dad and some relatives during my debut. Anyway, I have things planned for the next two days though – on Y’s birthday.
At work, a lot of people have been greeting me. I was overwhelmed especially when the afternoon breaktime came. They prepared some snacks in celebration of my birthday. I was so flattered and even teary-eyed. No one has ever done this for me before. I really love my team!
Later on, Y texted me again and asked if I got any plans. I said none. Then, he suggested that we have some dinner. I agreed.
After an hour or two, Y texted again. He said that he won’t be able to fetch me from work since he’s so busy. I frowned a bit. Instead, he asked me to just come to his office.
We went to Tiendesitas where we had dinner at a fine dining restaurant. He treated me so well as though we never had any unsettled quarrel. I guess it was his way of indirectly me to forget everything that happened.
Before we went home, we stopped by at Starbucks to have some coffee. We chatted a little till we got tired and finally decided to go.
My birthday celebration ended with me enveloped in Y’s arms. It’s the first time I celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for more…
The following day, I was excited to go to work. I was all dolled up that my colleagues started getting curious. I said that it’s nothing, I just plan to surprise someone.
When afternoon came, I asked permission from my superior to go out for a break. I rushed to a nearby cake shop and bought a chocolate mousse. Had some a short message placed. Then I went out and hailed a cab. I’m on my way to Y’s place. I’d like to be the very first to greet him on his birthday.
I was received well by the guard in his office. He knew me already. I told him to please get Y to come out. Tell him I’m one of the suppliers he needed to meet. Unfortunately, he didn’t cooperate. So, I decided to enter instead.
He was awed to see me all dressed up holding a huge box of cake. He immediately took the box from me and place it on his table. Then, without minding the presence of his colleague, he kissed me right there and then.
I told him that I wanted to be the first to greet him so I came. But I also have to go already since I just stole some time from work. He accompanied me back to the cab and kissed me goodbye. I was so happy to see him smile and overwhelmed with my surprise.
It’s Y’s birthday. I greeted him early through a test message. He replied saying thanks. He said that he’ll be away, off to Subic with some people from his work. He’s not sure if he could come back to see me.
My mood changed. What if he really can’t come back? Then my surprise for him would surely be ruined…
I tried contacting him again in the next few hours. But I didn’t receive any reply anymore. I can’t go on with my plans now. There’s no certainty if he’ll be back after all.
After work, I was so down that I couldn’t bear going home early. Instead, I went to SM Megamall to watch Transformers. I saw a male colleague with his girl. He introduced me to her. They’re on a date and I envy them. I should have been with Y that time… I don’t understand why he can’t be with me… Why he didn’t choose to be with me…
As I went home, rain started to fall. I have an umbrella with me but I didn’t feel like opening it. It’s better that way so I could cry without anyone noticing my tears. I walked home with a heavy heart. It was a long way back but I don’t care. All I know is that I felt defeated. Like all my efforts were put to waste.
I drank three cans of beer that night when I reached my place. I cried myself to sleep, hoping that my eyes won’t swell too much tomorrow especially since I’ll be going home to Mom’s.