“When the fireworks started, we had our New Year kiss. And with my eyes closed, I wished that we could always be like this…”
January 2007. It’s a new year for all of us. New office. New beginnings. New problems.
Last year, I’ve decided to resign already from our company. It was a tough decision for me since it’s not easy to find a job. Also, I really don’t want to be separated from Y. But then, work in the company has become toxic. So many tasks with very little compensation. I’ve been handling so many positions and yet my salary was never raised.
Anyway, Y supported me in my decision. He’s recovered already from chickenpox and has also started to gain back his confidence. He started going out with friends too. In fact, there was this one time when he went out with some colleagues without me. I just learned about it when they were done on their drinking session.
He was texting me and I could sense that something’s wrong with his messages. He seemed so distant. Then, he said he wanted to end everything between us. That I don’t deserve him. That I deserve someone better. That maybe I could just be like a little sister to him, call him “bro” or “kuya”.
My tears started to fall. I can’t accept what he was saying. I tried to argue with him. Called him and send messages. Then, he started getting annoyed. He told me never to text or call him again. He called me a “Bitch”. It was the first.
The following day, I went to work with swollen eyes. I didn’t talk to anyone unless important. I turned on the mp3 player in my cellphone and played only one song to comfort me. “Foolish Heart”.
Y arrived in the office and tension filled the air. My officemates sensed that something’s wrong and tried to have us talk. But I was stubborn. I didn’t move and just continued listening to that one song.
Minutes later, Y approached me and gave me the Hazelnut sandwich he used to prepare for me. I didn’t get it so he just placed it on my table.
When lunch came, I didn’t went with him and the others. He became the hotseat in their lunch table at the building canteen. A boss even teased him. I had lunch with our interns outside with the excuse that it’s my treat since I’ll be leaving the company soon. They look like they don’t believe me but I never mind.
In the afternoon, Y tried talking to me. I reminded him that he called me bitch. He can’t reply right away. Then later on, he texted asking me to go home already. I didn’t reply. He texted again saying he’ll be waiting for me, if I didn’t come, it’s not my fault. The blame is on him.
I thought of everything. I hesitated a bit. Then, I got my things and decided to see him. We reconciled and went home together. A colleague saw us and smiled teasingly.
Days later, my Dad texted. “I’ll b dir 10:55 Fri Jan 19 ok? See u dir i love u”
I don’t know why but I suddenly felt nervous. Like something bad is going to happen.