“Me: … Dahil si Y ang last, siguro naman mas enjoy ang story niya.
Jane: Yan ay kung kakayanin mong i-blog ang story namin ni Y.”
Message from the blog owner:
Because I was able to read the entire diary containing Y’s story, I have decided to resign from blogging about it and return the diary to Jane. BUT. No need to worry. It does not mean that you won’t be able to read the story anymore. Instead, I have asked (even begged) Jane (who was hesitant) to do the blog posts then just email them to me for posting. After all, it’s her story. It’s “THEIR” story. It would be best to learn it straight from her. Why did I do it? You’ll learn why as you read along… So from this part of the series, Her Maldita-ness is temporarily signing-off… Adieu!
Whenever I look back on the three (or two since Z was never my boyfriend) relationships I’ve had, it has always been hard not to evaluate. What was the reason for the heartaches. Why did I cherish a simple event. What lesson did I learn. What were the things I should have said and done…
In the alphabetical order, Y always comes in between X and Z. But in this series, he was introduced after Z. This was not only because of a special request but also due to a very relevant and valid reason. Of the three of them, he was the last one I met.
To tell you honestly, I was never attracted to Y. He was not my type of guy. My first impressions with him are usually of these adjectives: presko, maangas, and bolero. To sum it up, for me, he is a boastful and sweet-talker guy.
When we started to become close, a lot of people asked me, “why him?” I expected them to wonder since as I’ve said, I never really liked him. During those times, I usually answered, “Ok naman siya eh. He is responsible and sweet. Magkasundo naman kami” With that, they would no longer follow-up.
Yet, as I think about the question now, I can no longer come up with a nice answer. Somehow, I am not certain if the answer I used to give before is still relevant to our situation now.
Well, I’m not writing this to talk about what we have now. What I’ll be telling you about in the next blogposts is what we used to have. A story created in a blend of different emotions. How a simple online chat conversation grew into something sweet that I thought would last forever.
So, bear with me. I am not a good blogger nor writer. However, I’ll tell you this story about Y with all my heart. I’ll narrate them to you as though everything is happening right before your eyes. Let me re-live everything even if I have to laugh and cry again. Even if old wounds would open. I believe this is how it should be… Maybe through this, I’ll be able to forgive not only him but also myself…
And perhaps, blogging all these would help me stand tall again.
After all, I’m just like every one of you. A girl who believed in love and gave her everything.