“Di ko alam kung nakalimutan ni X yung birthday ko or talagang kinalimutan niya na ako.”
Weekend’s over. I’m so tired, confused and a bit giddy too. Memories of my weekend with X at Tagaytay kept haunting me. I couldn’t focus on my work. This must be what they call Lovesick. But then kahit medyo distracted ako, I continued doing what my A-hole of a boss is demanding from me. Tuloy pa rin sa multi-tasking as Marketing Associate/Events Associate/Executive Assistant. The show must go on.
When I finally managed to take a break, I sat silently in front of my computer monitor while nibbling some snacks. No, I wasn’t working. I was recalling what happened to me and X last Saturday…
I went straight to X’s place straight from work. I have all the things I needed with me. From there, we travelled together by riding on a bus bound to Tagaytay. It was an idea that we need to take a break away from the buzzing city. We both agreed to go there and escape our problems even for just a short span of time.
It was almost midnight when we arrived at our destination. An unholy hour to go sight-seeing and visit the picnic grove. And since we don’t have any acquaintances or friends there where we could possibly stay for the night, we decided to ride a tricycle and take us to the nearest inn.
The inn where we stayed is like a starter-house for newly-wed couples. One bed, one table, two chairs, a shower room and a mini kitchen. X went outside and bought us cup noodles, after eating them and drinking some beer in can, we took turns in taking a shower. The water is warm (thanks to the heater) but the chills brought by the September wind outside didn’t left me. Plus, the anxiety of being alone with X in this far-away place.
We laid down and prepared to sleep after some chit-chat. Of course, we shared the only bed and blanket available in the place. He hugged me and gently pulled me closer to him. I returned his embrace and snuggled on his chest. It felt so good to cuddle with him. Like, nobody could ever hurt me as long as I’m in his arms. I was very comfortable and about to doze off when he cupped my face and started kissing me passionately. His kiss was aggressive and demanding that I lost my reins and the thought of sleeping. I responded and kissed him back as I brushed his hair with my fingers. Then he started caressing me. His touch full of warmth and tenderness. I was so focused kissing his lips that I didn’t notice he was already on top of me, starting to strip off my shorts. I grabbed his hand and stopped him.
Yet, he still continued undressing me and persuading me. He kept on assuring me that everything would be fine. I was back into my senses. I tried to sit up and fight with him but I can’t. He was holding me tight. I did all the best I could but he was also determined to get what he wants. I tried to struggle and kick him but it was useless. In a second, he has turned into a hungry lion ready to charge and claim his prey. He pinned me and I was only left with two choices. Scream or give in. I chose the latter.
The loud sound of a message alert tone woke me up from my recollection. I was back in the present. I checked my cellphone to see who sent the message. Unfortunately, it was just one of Globe’s info. messages. I sighed. I was so disappointed. I thought it was X checking up on me. I haven’t heard from him since after Tagaytay.
It’s my Mom’s off from work so instead of going home to Dad’s place, I head straight to her. I was having a great time chatting and exchanging jokes with Mom and her boyfriend. It was a lovely evening. Mom prepared our dinner and while she was busy with the plates, my cellphone buzzed. It’s X.
“Hi Ai. Musta n? Wr u? Nsa haus k n? May impt. kc ako ssbhin sau.”
“Hello Ai. I’m ok. D2 ako haus. bkt nw k lng txt? Wht hppnd 2 u?”
“May ssbhin ako wg k sna mglit. I thnk we shud end our relationshp. I’m nt gud 4 u and u r 2 gud 4 me.” I read each word carefully. Kinabahan ako. But still, I tried to be optimistic.
“ngbi2ro k n nmn! hehehe… :)”
“I’m serious Jane”
“Bsta. Im sori. I jus hop dat u’ll 4gve me & dat we cud stl b frends 1 day.”
“My ngwa b ko or nsbing mali? Pls. tell me.”
“No Jane. Its nt u. Its me. Lst txt ko n 2. Bye.”
I wanted to text him more. To demand for answers to all the questions I have in mind. Nagpaalam ako kay Mommy. I needed to go home to Dad’s place where I could lock myself alone in my room. She’s bothered. I didn’t eat dinner. Sabi ko kay Mommy masakit ang ulo ko. They were worried. Upset actually. They asked if there’s anything wrong. Sabi ko hayaan nyo muna ako.
When I reached home, I locked myself in my room. I didn’t bother to turn on the lights. I texted X again. I demanded for an explanation. Though I feared to learn that truth – the possibility of a third party. Yes, I was right. There is another, according to him. He’s been seeing someone else for more than two months already.
The tears just won’t stop falling from my eyes. I felt like I’m going to suffocate in my room. The world is crumbling and I felt like dying. I lost X…
The end of “us” has come. There is no more US…