“The movie I watched was funny. But somehow, tears rolled down my cheeks while I was watching. I felt so alone with all the lovers surrounding me here at the balcony. Wrong choice of spot. I should have bought a ticket for the lower seats instead.”
It has been almost a week already and yet the sweet stolen moments I’ve shared with X kept haunting me. It felt like everything just happened yesterday. And here I am again, feeling giddy like a high school teenager who has just been asked to the prom by her crush.
It was a lazy afternoon in our organization’s office. Nakatambay lang ako dahil tapos na ang klase. Then I received a text from X. He wanted to see me. He’s in the UST hospital where Audrey was confined due to her illness. (I wanted to visit her but I can’t because she doesn’t know that I know what she’s going through)
Natuwa naman ako na gusto makipagkita sa akin ni X. Tagal na rin naman kasi naming di nagkita. So, we met and it’s very funny dahil parehas kaming paranoid at takot na may makakita sa amin at i-report kami kay Audrey. Akala mo naman mga takas sa preso. Saglit lang kaming nagkita. Konting kamustahan tapos balik na ako sa office at siya naman sa hospital. Baka daw kasi magtaka si Audrey.
Wala pang isang oras nang muling mag-text si X. Wala naman daw ako ginagawa baka pwede ko raw siya samahan umuwi sa boarding house niya. At dahil wala naman nga akong ginagawa, I agreed.
We rode a taxi going there. Medyo awkward pero ok lang. When we arrived in his place. He packed some clothes and took a bath. We were the only ones there so nagbiro pa ang loko. But you know what, he never took advantage of the set-up. Nothing happened.
Naulit na naman ang pagpunta ko sa boarding house niya after a job interview that I had in Makati. I was so tired so he suggested that I go to his place. Naglambing. At dahil nga miss ko rin naman siya, punta naman ako.
The sun has already set when I arrived in his place. We sneaked into his boarding house at pinakilala niya ako as his cousin. Wala na namang tao sa room niya. Kami lang dalawa. So, kwentuhan hanggang sa yayain niya ako lumabas to buy some food and his supply of Marlboro Lights (yes, he smokes at kahit ayoko sa mga lalaking naninigarilyo, na-attract pa rin ako sa kanya).
When we got back to his room, we watched a sexy comedy film and I texted my Mom that I will be sleeping over at a friend’s house. Kahit kaming dalawa lang, I felt at ease. Di ko alam kung bakit. Nakaunan siya sa lap ko habang naka-embrace sa waist ko. He didn’t bother to watch kasi napanood na niya raw ang film na yun. Ako na lang daw ang papanoorin niya. When the movie ended, we turned off the tv along with the lights. So we positioned ourselves to sleep.
It was hard for me to sleep so nakikiramdam lang talaga ako. Pikit ang mata para kunwari matutulog na. Yeah, medyo paranoid din ako. First time ko kasing matulog na may katabing lalaki…
“Nyt Ai. sweet dreams,” X said as he hugged and gently pulled me closer to him. I breathe the scent of his perfume and it started to cloud my mind.
“Nyt Ai. sweet dreams,” I replied trying hard to sound normal and not affected of our bodies touching each other.
“Asan na good night kiss ko?” he asked. I was transformed into a statue for a moment but immediately recovered and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. He asked for another one, so I gave it to him. And another one… which he deliberately made to land on his lips. It was just a firm smack intended to last only a few seconds. But, his lips didn’t let me go and continued the kiss that I’ve started.
It was a gentle mind-blowing kiss that deepened and taught me to respond. I never knew that I could kiss a person as passionately as this, knowing that I don’t have any experience. And, wow… his lips are so soft and warm and I could go on kissing him endlessly.
He stopped for a moment only to imprison me more… “I love you,” he whispered to my ears. My body temperature then started to rise. Then he began showering my cheeks with small kisses and tracing my face as though he wants to memorize every detail of it. When he reached again my lips, he conquered it, this time with longing and hunger. I was a bit surprised and was not able to reciprocate his actions. But he stopped, he stared at me and I met his gaze.
“Sa akin ka lang titingin,” he murmured. He smiled at me then cupped my face to start kissing me again. The spell has been cast and I found myself responding to his kiss with the same passion that he exerts. But I stopped and became aware that his hands were starting to caress my entire body already.
I stopped him. No, it’s not right.
He obeyed. With that, I knew that I will never look at another man ever. That it would only be him. That I love him more…
He carefully pulled me closer to him and embraced me tight. My eyes started to get heavy. I snuggled to his chest. How I wish that we could always be that way…
And now, as I recall those times, I miss him even more. I haven’t heard from him yet. I wish he is fine…
I wish we could be together again…