Three Love Stories: The House Arrest

Previously…

“Ikaw, hindi kita iiwan. Wala akong mahanap na rason para iwan ka eh.”

 

November 2007.  Friday. It was the date that marked our first year together. Our first anniversary.

Y said he’s not used to celebrating anniversaries but he cooperated well on that day. He texted me and greeted me early in the morning. We agreed to meet later after my work. We’re going to have dinner.

At around 5:45 p.m. I received a text message. It’s from Y. He said that he’s already outside, waiting for me. I told him he’s a bit early. Wait for me and I’ll be out in a while.

I quickly shut down my computer and went to the ladies’ room to change my clothes. Yup, I had clothes prepared for the occasion. A pink spaghetti blouse and a black mini skirt. After changing, I carefully washed my face and applied make-up. When I went out of the ladies’ room, some officemates were teasing me on how dressed I am. I just smiled and told them I have a date.

I went outside and met Y. I was quite disappointed that he didn’t bother to give me flowers (but then, that’s just really the way he is). Still, I’m in such a good mood. I greeted him and smiled. He looked pleased with my appearance then he said…

“Saan ba tayo? Mag-ppropose ka na ba sa akin ngayon?”

I chuckled. Aren’t you supposed to be the one doing that? I thought.

We hailed a cab and I told the driver to take us to Marikina Shoe Expo at Cubao. Y wondered why I was taking him there. When we arrived, I told him that we’ll be eating at Bellini’s. It is a popular Italian restaurant perfect for lovers on a date, an officemate recommended it to me. We entered the restaurant, took our seats and gave our orders. Pasta, pizza, sweet wine, pannacotta and tiramisu.

As we ate, a blind man played the guitar and sang some love songs. It was such a fabulous evening. Very romantic. And the mood grew lovelier when the blind man sang one of my favorites. The song “Is it okay if I call you mine?”

I listened to the song and gazed at Y who was sipping his wine. He gazed back at me, placed the glass down and leaned closer.

“Sweetie… This song… I’d like to dedicate it to you,” he said almost in whisper. Then he winked at me and smiled.

I suddenly felt warm. It must be because of the wine. Or, I think I blushed.

When we went home, we chatted a bit with some acoustic love songs on the background. I slept in his arms and looked forward to the next day. (I planned to hold him at least in the next 36 hours)

***

The following day, we decided to go out and watch a movie in SM Mall of Asia. It was my first time to go there. We rode a bus and sat on one of the seats at the back. As the bus passed by under a fly-over, we stolel kisses.  Everything felt so right that time.

We watched the movie “Hitman” because there’s nothing good being shown in IMAX. Luckily, one of his favorite actors played the lead role. He liked the movie and I enjoyed it too. Afterwards, we dined at Pupung’s, a Pinoy resto decorated with some comic strips as wall background.

Before going home, we get to watch the fireworks display by the bay. That was the second fireworks we watched together. Very memorable. Watching the spectacles in the skies seemed to bring hope that we’ll stay strong in our next year together and in the other years to come…

***
Third day of our anniversary celebration. Sunday. Y told me that he had to leave already after lunch. He needs to go to the gym and do some work-out. His body had been missing a lot already. I frowned but a naughty idea crossed my mind.

I know a better way to work-out. I could even help you.  I thought.

So, I took a shower and planned on how to keep him with me for a few more hours. When I’m done, he took his turn. While he’s in the bathroom, I immediately went to the closet and picked out some clothes. Mix and match. I could do this!

I returned to my ritual – putting lotion on my body, etc. then prepared to dress-up for lunch. We agreed to eat out then part ways after. I changed clothes, put on some make-up and sprayed perfume all over. I noticed that Y kept on glancing at me. At last, he couldn’t help it…

“Anong plano mo after lunch? Bihis na bihis ka ah… Me lakad ka?” he asked.

“Wala.  Ayoko lang mapagkamalan na maid on a day-off kaya ganito bihis ko. Baka punta lang ako ng Trinoma, Gateway or Gale. Magkakape lang.”

“Okay”.

We went to Starmall where we ate our lunch. I noticed that Y still kept on glancing at me. I smiled secretly. I could sense victory already. I know I’ll win this. After all, I look so smashing and irresistible. That time, I was wearing a white printed tube top over a denim flair skirt. To add some effect, I also put on a black 3/4 sleeves bolero.

When we’re done with our lunch, we went out quietly from the restaurant. We’re about to approach the mall’s exit when Y asked me again…

“Saan mo balak magkape? Sa suot mo, bagay ka ngayon sa Eastwood or Greenbelt eh”

“Di ko pa alam. Sa malapit lang. Either Gale or Trinoma.” I purposedly replied in the hope that he would invite me for coffee.

“Mag-decide ka na andito na tayo sa may exit oh…”

“Bakit sasamahan mo ba ako?”

“Oo”

“Eh di ikaw na mag-decide.”

And so, he accompanied me to Trinoma where we just had some coffee in Starbucks. Yes, he was not able to leave too. He stayed for the night and just left early the next morning.

It was a success. My House Arrest Mission was accomplished. I had my quality time with my Sweetie…

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: Caught in Metaphors

Previously…

“My birthday celebration ended with me enveloped in Y’s arms. It’s the first time I celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for more…”

 

In every relationship, the need for time has always been existent.

It’s already August and I’ve noticed that Y started to have lesser time for me. Again.

On weekdays, he’s very busy with his job. After work, he goes straight to a gym to work-out. On Saturdays, he is either in a gym or in a badminton court. Sundays, he is resting. So, where do I fit in?

I’m happy that we get to see each other every Monday but that’s because I usually fetch him at work or in the gym. Sometimes I find it weird that I’m the one fetching him. The man wears the pants right? So why should I be the one to do it?  Still I got used to it.

***

August 10, 2007. It was the birthday of one of his colleagues. Y and I were supposed to meet after work when he suddenly sent me a text message. He said he couldn’t make it. That he needed to go to the gym. I felt so low. I thought I was going to have some time with him.

An hour or two before I went home, I received a personal message thru ym. It’s from Vi, a former colleague and one of our common friends. She said that it’s Arjay’s birthday and they’re going out for a drink. She even invited me. I said I can’t come and I have to go home to do something. She said that would be too bad because Y would be coming.

My eyes almost popped out. I can’t believe what I’ve read. Isn’t it he just texted that he’ll be going to the gym? Why does he need to hide this from me?

Later, I went home alone still thinking of the possible reasons why he lied to me. Perhaps because of Cate?

 

***

Weeks later, I got what I wished for. Y gave me time. In fact, he lived with me for almost a week. It felt like we were back to those days we spent together at my Dad’s place. Only, we don’t have a huge couch where we could cuddle. Still, it’s as though we were husband and wife already.

I took good care of him really well when he was at my place. I woke up early in the morning to make his coffee. At night, I massage his tired body till he doze off. Then, I tuck him in the blanket. I kiss him before leaving for work and before sleeping…  And I felt so happy doing all those things for him. But then, they were all good for a week. He also went back to his place after.

One September night as I was reading “Shanghai Baby”, Y arrived. I was so glad to see him. He took a shower then afterwards, sat with me and asked a very disturbing question.

“Do you find Ciara (his famous ex-gf) ‘hot’? Would she qualify in your standards of being ‘hot’? Would you like to kiss her?”

I said that kissing her is a BAD IDEA. I know that his questions would lead to something and I was right. He said that Ciara will soon be arriving from China. That he’s the only one who could show her around. He realized that I’ve become tensed and comforted me. Even asked me to tag along if I could handle the situation. He said that she’s now just a good ‘family friend’. And, that no one could snatch him away from me. That what’s important is that I’m the present…

Minutes later, we went back to normal conversation. About how our respective days went and so on… We discussed about why a man leaves his girl and finds comfort in another one. Then he said…

“Ikaw, hindi kita iiwan. Wala akong mahanap na rason para iwan ka eh.”

 

***

September 2007. It was our monthsary.

I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days. I wanted to find out something about Y. So, I opened up the topic while we were talking about us. I said I wanted to make a blog about him – his past relationships and the girls that were linked to him.

He thought it was a great idea. I gave him a yellow pad paper for him to list his girls (I told him to include even the present ones – flings or not) in alphabetical order. And, he did. I saw some names I know. Some from his friendster profile and some that I’ve met already (Cate was in the list!).

He was fine with the project at first and cooperated well. In fact, he already started narrating some of the stories with some of his ex-girlfriends already. Then, realization dawned on him. He stopped abruptly. He became aware that there would be a lot of negative possibilities in this project that I proposed. It could ruin our relationship.

Well, it’s true. But I really wanted to know about Cate, Ciara and Joan (the girl who has a crush on him and he claimed as a friend only — the one in the laundry slip). The truth hurts I know, but at least it might lessen all the suspicions I have. I was still determined to pursue the project till we had our lunch.

We ate at a Binalot restaurant near Crossings. As we waited for our food to arrive, Y told met to forget about the project already. It would only ruin us. I stayed quiet. Then the waitress arrived and served the food.

Finally, I broke my silence. Or at least, a fly did.

There’s a fly in my Beef Tapa meal and yet, I wasn’t so angry about it. In fact, it slapped me with an analogy.

I immediately called for the waitress and asked her to replace my meal. BUT, I don’t want it to be the same dish. I quickly scanned the menu and picked a different meal. I said I want it to be the replacement for the Beef Tapa with fly.

Then I turned to Y. He was gazing at me with a curious look. I smiled and said that I’ll no longer continue the project.

I didn’t have my meal replaced with the same dish for fear that they might just remove the fly and serve the same dish to me. Then my request for replacement would just be useless. It’s the same for the project. If I pursue it, it would just open up some wounds and cause conflict to us. Then we’ll just break-up all because of his past. And I can’t let that to ruin us.

When we arrived home, I asked Y to tear the list he created. I even joked about it, telling him to do it already before I change my mind and start memorizing all those names. He chuckled and obeyed.

 

***

After four years, I realized, if I pursued that blog then The Three Love Stories might not have existed at all. It might have been two only. Or worse, I might have been blogging about “The Diaries of a So-Called Pinoy Gigolo”. Anyway, I might not have been able to memorize all the names in his list but I am certain that Cate, Ciara and Joan were there (in fact my name was there too – it actually irritated me that I was in that list along with his ex-girlfriends). Which only means that there was really something between him and Cate, and Joan. One-night stand? Fling? That, I do not know… Besides, he never answered me when I asked who among those names were the serious ones except for Ciara? Well, I don’t give a damn now.

 

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: Birthdays

Previously…

“Still, I miss him… And everytime I do, I just open the inbox of my phone to browse his past text messages.”

 

Little by little everything went back to normal between me and Y. It’s as though nothing happened. He was sweet to me again. Even bragged about my article that was published in the site of a major tv station to our former colleagues. He went back to calling me “Sweetie” again. I appreciated his gestures but to be honest, I still find it hard to get over what happened. I hid it from him.

June 2007. It was the date of my birthday. I woke up very early at the sound of my cellphone. One message received from Y.

“Happy Birthday To You! Muah! Muah! Muah!” It was the first greeting I received. I smiled and started to prepare myself for work.

I don’t have anything planned for the day. I just want to let it pass like any ordinary date. After all, I was never fond of the occasion. I’ve started hating it since after the humiliation I had because of Dad and some relatives during my debut. Anyway, I have things planned for the next two days though – on Y’s birthday.

At work, a lot of people have been greeting me. I was overwhelmed especially when the afternoon breaktime came. They prepared some snacks in celebration of my birthday. I was so flattered and even teary-eyed. No one has ever done this for me before. I really love my team!

Later on, Y texted me again and asked if I got any plans. I said none. Then, he suggested that we have some dinner. I agreed.

After an hour or two, Y texted again. He said that he won’t be able to fetch me from work since he’s so busy. I frowned a bit. Instead, he asked me to just come to his office.

***

We went to Tiendesitas where we had dinner at a fine dining restaurant. He treated me so well as though we never had any unsettled quarrel. I guess it was his way of indirectly me to forget everything that happened.

Before we went home, we stopped by at Starbucks to have some coffee. We chatted a little till we got tired and finally decided to go.

My birthday celebration ended with me enveloped in Y’s arms. It’s the first time I celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for more…

***

The following day, I was excited to go to work. I was all dolled up that my colleagues started getting curious. I said that it’s nothing, I just plan to surprise someone.

When afternoon came, I asked permission from my superior to go out for a break. I rushed to a nearby cake shop and bought a chocolate mousse. Had some a short message placed. Then I went out and hailed a cab. I’m on my way to Y’s place. I’d like to be the very first to greet him on his birthday.

I was received well by the guard in his office. He knew me already. I told him to please get Y to come out. Tell him I’m one of the suppliers he needed to meet. Unfortunately, he didn’t cooperate. So, I decided to enter instead.

He was awed to see me all dressed up holding a huge box of cake. He immediately took the box from me and place it on his table. Then, without minding the presence of his colleague, he kissed me right there and then.

I told him that I wanted to be the first to greet him so I came. But I also have to go already since I just stole some time from work. He accompanied me back to the cab and kissed me goodbye. I was so happy to see him smile and overwhelmed with my surprise.

***

It’s Y’s birthday. I greeted him early through a test message. He replied saying thanks. He said that he’ll be away, off to Subic with some people from his work. He’s not sure if he could come back to see me.

My mood changed. What if he really can’t come back? Then my surprise for him would surely be ruined…

I tried contacting him again in the next few hours. But I didn’t receive any reply anymore. I can’t go on with my plans now. There’s no certainty if he’ll be back after all.

After work, I was so down that I couldn’t bear going home early. Instead, I went to SM Megamall to watch Transformers. I saw a male colleague with his girl. He introduced me to her. They’re on a date and I envy them. I should have been with Y that time… I don’t understand why he can’t be with me… Why he didn’t choose to be with me…

As I went home, rain started to fall. I have an umbrella with me but I didn’t feel like opening it. It’s better that way so I could cry without anyone noticing my tears. I walked home with a heavy heart. It was a long way back but I don’t care. All I know is that I felt defeated. Like all my efforts were put to waste.

I drank three cans of beer that night when I reached my place. I cried myself to sleep, hoping that my eyes won’t swell too much tomorrow especially since I’ll be going home to Mom’s.

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: Text Messages

Previously…

“I love you,” he answered. I tightened my embrace. 

“I loved you,” he continued.“But my ideal girl doesn’t come cheap. Very unlike you, right? You’re a bitch just like any girl your age.”

 

A day or two after our quarrel, Y took away all his things in my room. He never came to visit me anymore. He didn’t bother to call nor even send me any text messages. I thought he was just trying to cool down.

A week passed without any news from him. I’ve come to realize… I guess, it’s over.

But I still won’t accept that it all ended up that way. He’s drunk that time. He’s probably embarrassed for the things he did. Maybe he didn’t really intend to hurt me. Yet, pain was inflicted. I can’t deny that his words left me wounds.

***

After the incident, I kept myself busy. I worked like a robot and looked like a zombie. I took a part-time writing job and I also started with my diet. After all, I don’t have an appetite lately. I might as well take advantage of it.

Whenever I was alone in the room, I’m often swallowed by depression. Those times were among the toughest ones in my life. I had a hard time budgeting my salary due to financial obligations I had to attend to. I had to stretch 300 bucks for a week. Later on, I got sick without anyone to depend on. It was that time when I conquered my fear of going to hospitals. I was able to reach one as I keep myself conscious from the dizziness and fever. All these, I survived without Y. It was a struggle trying to live without him.

Still, I miss him… And everytime I do, I just open the inbox of my phone to browse his past text messages.

I came across the ones when we were discussing about his being close to Cate…

 

“I wnt cz any cnflct. Il b a gu boy. Bsyds, i dn fl lyk it. Ms u mor dn anytng ls. I luv u.” (Sender: Y, Sent: 1:19:22 a.m. 03-11-2007)

 

“Tnx Sweetie. I wl nvr let a cnfused MILF lyk her 2 ruin ur precious trust on me. Pls tker.” (Sender: Y, Sent: 9:52:24 p.m. 03-27-2007)

 

Then, I began to wonder again if he really did it with Cate. I wish he didn’t. But I don’t know if I could convince myself anymore. After all the things he said to me, my faith in him has started to falter already.

***

One evening, I was lying in my bed trying to make myself sleepy when my cellphone buzzed. Who could it be? I thought. I have abandoned  my hopes that Y would text me. After all, it’s been a long time already and I haven’t heard from him.

I grabbed the phone and read the message. To my surprise, it was really Y.

 

“Gud PM. I jst rcvrd frm a slyt heat stroke earlier. Im ok nw. 2day s jst so hot. Hw r u? Ms u.”

 

My heart skipped a beat. There’s still hope…

 

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: Visions

Previously…

“It was one moment in our relationship that I’ll never forget. The first time for me to meet my boyfriend’s mom.”

 

During the time that Y’s mom was in Manila, he hardly find time to see me. But I didn’t complain. I understand it well since it’s his mom after all. They hardly see each other and it’s rare for them to be together.

I kept myself busy with my job. At times that I miss Y, I just look at his things in my room and imagine him with me. One day while I was missing him, I opened the bag he left where he used to keep his clothes. I planned on unpacking it and tidying  it up when I noticed something.

Some of his undergarments were still packed in a laundry bag, all clean and newly washed. I thought he used to do washing by himself. I saw the laundry slip and found myself stunned. The client’s name in the slip who had the clothes washed wasn’t Y. It’s a girl’s name. A girl which he claimed to be someone who has a crush on him. Someone who’s not his type but is okay as a friend.

I blocked all negative thoughts that started flooding my mind. But as I go on with my work the following day, I can’t help but analyze things. Why would he ask a friend to bring his undergarments to the laundry? Is she really just a friend?

Then, I’ve become aware that Y hardly sends me any text messages anymore. Is there no signal in Baguio where he is currently at with his mom? And, why is it that he didn’t even tried to invite me to go along with them? I mean, kahit ka-plastikan na invitation lang ba…

***

A week has passed and Y’s mom has finally left Manila. She visited me in my boarding house the night before she went to Cebu. It was so sweet of her to come and see me. And, even texted me when she arrived in Cebu. I’ve become so fond of her.

However, even after Y’s mom left, he still hardly had time for me. He said he’s been so busy with his work since he’s been going to the field lately. I did my best to understand but there were times when I still think of what I saw. Yet, I just told myself to trust him.

***

One Friday, I was so stressed and troubled. I could feel that there’s really something going on and yet I’m afraid to face it. Then, my colleagues planned to have a drinking session near the supermarket where I’m supposed to buy my stuff. I tagged along with them so I could unwind.

After work, Y texted me and asked where am I. I said I’ll be going to the grocery. He said he’ll meet me there to accompany me. Then, I told him I’ll also be joining my team in the drinking session. I asked if it’s okay with him. It took him long to respond. He said he might not make it anymore. I frowned.

After a while, he texted again and changed his mind. He asked where I am again. I said I’m in a resto bar near the supermarket and I asked if he’ll be coming. He asked who I am with. I said some male colleagues are with me. That we’re still waiting for the other girls to come. No reply.

I got annoyed on waiting for his response. I felt as though he’s trying to make a big deal about me going out when I didn’t even tried to restrain him when he was drinking with his colleagues in Ortigas. In fact, he didn’t even invited me during those times. He never asked for my permission too. So in my annoyance, I turned off my phone and drank a couple of beers. But I made sure I don’t get drunk since the girls didn’t show up and I’m the only female in the group. When we’re done, one of my superiors walked me home. They all acted gentleman, and I’m very grateful.

When I arrived at my boarding house, I saw Y sitting by the door gulping a beer in can. As soon as he saw me, he finished the can and glared at me.

“Ginabi ka ah,” he greeted me sarcastically. I kept quiet, I’m not in the mood to argue.

We took a shower. Then when we’re in the room, he started to confront me. I lost my temper and argued. I said I was just feeling lonely and needed to unwind. That it felt so depressing to be all alone with nothing to do whenever I arrive home. He continued with his litany about me turning off my phone as though I’m hiding something from him. About me drinking with my male colleagues being the only girl in the group. He went on and on till he compared me to his famous ex and to the girl he once claimed as just a friend.

Heat rushed in my head.  I couldn’t take it anymore. I was furious and hurt. I fired back at him complaining that he always mention them and even dared to compare me to them. He remained unmoved and hurt me even more with his words.

“Yes, you can’t compare with them. Ibang-iba sila sa’yo. Sila, pumasa sila sa akin. Ikaw, anong ginawa mo?”

So, this is some kind of a test? Of what? Of proving my worth? I complained to myself.

I laid myself on the bed without facing him and cried myself to sleep. But I can’t sleep so I just pretended. His cellphone played heartbreaking songs that seem to crush me even more. I hugged my pillow tightly and wondered if I was really wrong.

Then, I sensed his hands caressing me. I tried to stop him but he insisted. I’m in no mood to do it. But I have no energy left to totally stop him. I was crying silently, trying to resist him. But he’s suddenly on top of me. He moved without a hint of gentleness. He undressed me carelessly and pounded hard, ignoring my pleas. He didn’t give a damn if I was hurt. He was transformed into a beast that only cared about devouring his prey.

When he’s done, he just laid beside me without bothering to look at me. I tried to embrace him but he shoved my arm away. I cried to sleep again.

He woke up very early in the morning. We talked again. Then he suddenly confessed to me…

He said he had sex with Cate. I cried hard and embraced him from behind.

“Di ako naniniwala sa’yo. Alam ko di mo ginawa yan. Nagsisinungaling ka lang.”

He ignored me. He continued saying that even if Cate is short, she has a nice flawless body. Smooth butt. And I felt like dying as I listened to him. I continued saying that I don’t believe him. But it felt as though I am actually convincing myself and not him.

Then he asked if I still love him and can accept him after the things I’ve heard. I said yes. He tried to embrace me but withdrew.

With all courage that I could muster, I asked if he still loves me after everything.

“I love you,” he answered. I tightened my embrace. 

“I loved you,” he continued.“But my ideal girl doesn’t come cheap. Very unlike you, right? You’re a bitch just like any girl your age.”

All of a sudden, I was paralyzed. All my senses refused to function. I can no longer hear what he was saying. All I know is that, I seemed to have been slapped a hundred times causing me to swell and be numb. Everything became blurred. Like the entire room has been washed out by a flood.

 

To be continued…