Three Love Stories: Blessed but Blue Christmas

Previously…

“Saan ba tayo? Mag-ppropose ka na ba sa akin ngayon?”

I chuckled. Aren’t you supposed to be the one doing that? I thought.”

 

December 14, 2007. Y came to visit me for the last time this year. He’ll be leaving for Cebu on the weekend and might be back late January next year. He came with a home-cooked dish that he prepared. He’s been sweet to me lately. Perhaps, he felt guilty about leaving me during the Yuletide Season.

I gave him a massage while he did the talking. He noticed my silence. He asked what’s wrong. I said it’s hard for me to talk because my voice might give me away. With that, he did his best to cheer me up. I smiled a bit but I was still upset. So, I told him my worries.

I haven’t had my period. I’m delayed. He asked if I already tried doing a pregnancy test. I shook my head. I said I’m not yet ready but I plan to do it soon. By Monday, perhaps. I’ve observed that he was a bit nervous and was trying to hide it from me. He told me to update him whatever will be the result. I promised I would.

Before he went home, we exchanged Christmas gifts. He stressed out that I’ll find his gift amusing for it would remind me of something. Also, that I should read the card. I smiled. I’m sure gonna miss him…

*** 

December 17, 2007. I bought a pregnancy test kit in a drugstore overlooking the fact that I was wearing my college shirt. It was too late already when I noticed it. Still, I raised my chin and walked away. Anxious to get back to my place and know the results.

I followed the directions indicated at the back of the box. I placed the two different kits on a flat surface and waited for the lines to appear. I counted to 10.  Lines started to appear on both kits. Two lines each. It’s positive. I’m pregnant.

I was speechless for around five minutes. My mind went blank. A mixture of emotions whirled within me. I can’t take it alone. I got hold of my phone and texted Y. I told him I’m going to call and tell him something important.

I had a hard time contacting him. When I finally got through, a woman’s voice answered me. Then she called for her ‘master’. Y told me that he’s been waiting for my updates since morning. I told him I just finished doing the test. He’s going to be a father soon.

The reception started getting chappy. I can hardly hear what he’s saying. I can’t detect his reaction. Then he hung up. After a minute, I received a text saying that he’s happy about it and that I need to have a check-up soon.

I can’t believe we’re having a baby then… A picture of a happy family quickly filled my thoughts. I can’t wait for Y to be back.

***

“Ms n ms kta as in supr mega. Merry xmas Sweetie ko & Baby ko. I luv u.” (Sender: Y, Sent: 12:52:16pm 12-24-2007)

 

“Hi Sweetie? Kmsta kyo n baby? Ms u s much. Pls tkr. Muah! Muah! Muah!” (Sender: Y, Sent: 05:25:37pm 12-28-2007)

 

“Happy New Year Sweetie ko.. i love you. mwah! mwah! mwah!” (Sender:Y, Sent: 01:04:00am 01-01-2008)

 

***

New Year came and there’s no news as to the exact date on when Y will be coming back. My Mom and relatives have already learned about my pregnancy and they wanted to talk to Y about his plans. Good thing Dad is currently abroad. Or else, I’ll be more pressured.

Days passed by and my fears grew intense. What if he won’t come back anymore? Paano na ako? Paano na kami ng anak ko? Baka naman niloloko na niya ako…

I started to have a regular check-up with a gynecologist. Thank God I have a health card, it saved me a lot in terms of my pre-natal expenses. All I have to buy are the vitamins.

I tried my best to keep myself healthy for my baby’s sake. I did everything required for me to do and never missed a single appointment with the doctor. But then, there’s always that lonely feeling that creeps in my heart everytime I have a check-up. I was always teary-eyed whenever I see couples talking about their soon-to-be-born baby while waiting for their turn to see the doctor. The father listening to the womb of the mom. It’s a sight to behold. A sight that I’ve always envied.

It would have been better if I was the mom and Y was the father in that picture. It would have been better if I wasn’t watching and I was the one experiencing it instead. I wouldn’t have felt like this, if Y was here with me…

And so I wish that hopefully, Y could accompany me in one of my check-ups… That he’ll be back soon.

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: The House Arrest

Previously…

“Ikaw, hindi kita iiwan. Wala akong mahanap na rason para iwan ka eh.”

 

November 2007.  Friday. It was the date that marked our first year together. Our first anniversary.

Y said he’s not used to celebrating anniversaries but he cooperated well on that day. He texted me and greeted me early in the morning. We agreed to meet later after my work. We’re going to have dinner.

At around 5:45 p.m. I received a text message. It’s from Y. He said that he’s already outside, waiting for me. I told him he’s a bit early. Wait for me and I’ll be out in a while.

I quickly shut down my computer and went to the ladies’ room to change my clothes. Yup, I had clothes prepared for the occasion. A pink spaghetti blouse and a black mini skirt. After changing, I carefully washed my face and applied make-up. When I went out of the ladies’ room, some officemates were teasing me on how dressed I am. I just smiled and told them I have a date.

I went outside and met Y. I was quite disappointed that he didn’t bother to give me flowers (but then, that’s just really the way he is). Still, I’m in such a good mood. I greeted him and smiled. He looked pleased with my appearance then he said…

“Saan ba tayo? Mag-ppropose ka na ba sa akin ngayon?”

I chuckled. Aren’t you supposed to be the one doing that? I thought.

We hailed a cab and I told the driver to take us to Marikina Shoe Expo at Cubao. Y wondered why I was taking him there. When we arrived, I told him that we’ll be eating at Bellini’s. It is a popular Italian restaurant perfect for lovers on a date, an officemate recommended it to me. We entered the restaurant, took our seats and gave our orders. Pasta, pizza, sweet wine, pannacotta and tiramisu.

As we ate, a blind man played the guitar and sang some love songs. It was such a fabulous evening. Very romantic. And the mood grew lovelier when the blind man sang one of my favorites. The song “Is it okay if I call you mine?”

I listened to the song and gazed at Y who was sipping his wine. He gazed back at me, placed the glass down and leaned closer.

“Sweetie… This song… I’d like to dedicate it to you,” he said almost in whisper. Then he winked at me and smiled.

I suddenly felt warm. It must be because of the wine. Or, I think I blushed.

When we went home, we chatted a bit with some acoustic love songs on the background. I slept in his arms and looked forward to the next day. (I planned to hold him at least in the next 36 hours)

***

The following day, we decided to go out and watch a movie in SM Mall of Asia. It was my first time to go there. We rode a bus and sat on one of the seats at the back. As the bus passed by under a fly-over, we stolel kisses.  Everything felt so right that time.

We watched the movie “Hitman” because there’s nothing good being shown in IMAX. Luckily, one of his favorite actors played the lead role. He liked the movie and I enjoyed it too. Afterwards, we dined at Pupung’s, a Pinoy resto decorated with some comic strips as wall background.

Before going home, we get to watch the fireworks display by the bay. That was the second fireworks we watched together. Very memorable. Watching the spectacles in the skies seemed to bring hope that we’ll stay strong in our next year together and in the other years to come…

***
Third day of our anniversary celebration. Sunday. Y told me that he had to leave already after lunch. He needs to go to the gym and do some work-out. His body had been missing a lot already. I frowned but a naughty idea crossed my mind.

I know a better way to work-out. I could even help you.  I thought.

So, I took a shower and planned on how to keep him with me for a few more hours. When I’m done, he took his turn. While he’s in the bathroom, I immediately went to the closet and picked out some clothes. Mix and match. I could do this!

I returned to my ritual – putting lotion on my body, etc. then prepared to dress-up for lunch. We agreed to eat out then part ways after. I changed clothes, put on some make-up and sprayed perfume all over. I noticed that Y kept on glancing at me. At last, he couldn’t help it…

“Anong plano mo after lunch? Bihis na bihis ka ah… Me lakad ka?” he asked.

“Wala.  Ayoko lang mapagkamalan na maid on a day-off kaya ganito bihis ko. Baka punta lang ako ng Trinoma, Gateway or Gale. Magkakape lang.”

“Okay”.

We went to Starmall where we ate our lunch. I noticed that Y still kept on glancing at me. I smiled secretly. I could sense victory already. I know I’ll win this. After all, I look so smashing and irresistible. That time, I was wearing a white printed tube top over a denim flair skirt. To add some effect, I also put on a black 3/4 sleeves bolero.

When we’re done with our lunch, we went out quietly from the restaurant. We’re about to approach the mall’s exit when Y asked me again…

“Saan mo balak magkape? Sa suot mo, bagay ka ngayon sa Eastwood or Greenbelt eh”

“Di ko pa alam. Sa malapit lang. Either Gale or Trinoma.” I purposedly replied in the hope that he would invite me for coffee.

“Mag-decide ka na andito na tayo sa may exit oh…”

“Bakit sasamahan mo ba ako?”

“Oo”

“Eh di ikaw na mag-decide.”

And so, he accompanied me to Trinoma where we just had some coffee in Starbucks. Yes, he was not able to leave too. He stayed for the night and just left early the next morning.

It was a success. My House Arrest Mission was accomplished. I had my quality time with my Sweetie…

To be continued…

Three Love Stories: Caught in Metaphors

Previously…

“My birthday celebration ended with me enveloped in Y’s arms. It’s the first time I celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend. I couldn’t ask for more…”

 

In every relationship, the need for time has always been existent.

It’s already August and I’ve noticed that Y started to have lesser time for me. Again.

On weekdays, he’s very busy with his job. After work, he goes straight to a gym to work-out. On Saturdays, he is either in a gym or in a badminton court. Sundays, he is resting. So, where do I fit in?

I’m happy that we get to see each other every Monday but that’s because I usually fetch him at work or in the gym. Sometimes I find it weird that I’m the one fetching him. The man wears the pants right? So why should I be the one to do it?  Still I got used to it.

***

August 10, 2007. It was the birthday of one of his colleagues. Y and I were supposed to meet after work when he suddenly sent me a text message. He said he couldn’t make it. That he needed to go to the gym. I felt so low. I thought I was going to have some time with him.

An hour or two before I went home, I received a personal message thru ym. It’s from Vi, a former colleague and one of our common friends. She said that it’s Arjay’s birthday and they’re going out for a drink. She even invited me. I said I can’t come and I have to go home to do something. She said that would be too bad because Y would be coming.

My eyes almost popped out. I can’t believe what I’ve read. Isn’t it he just texted that he’ll be going to the gym? Why does he need to hide this from me?

Later, I went home alone still thinking of the possible reasons why he lied to me. Perhaps because of Cate?

 

***

Weeks later, I got what I wished for. Y gave me time. In fact, he lived with me for almost a week. It felt like we were back to those days we spent together at my Dad’s place. Only, we don’t have a huge couch where we could cuddle. Still, it’s as though we were husband and wife already.

I took good care of him really well when he was at my place. I woke up early in the morning to make his coffee. At night, I massage his tired body till he doze off. Then, I tuck him in the blanket. I kiss him before leaving for work and before sleeping…  And I felt so happy doing all those things for him. But then, they were all good for a week. He also went back to his place after.

One September night as I was reading “Shanghai Baby”, Y arrived. I was so glad to see him. He took a shower then afterwards, sat with me and asked a very disturbing question.

“Do you find Ciara (his famous ex-gf) ‘hot’? Would she qualify in your standards of being ‘hot’? Would you like to kiss her?”

I said that kissing her is a BAD IDEA. I know that his questions would lead to something and I was right. He said that Ciara will soon be arriving from China. That he’s the only one who could show her around. He realized that I’ve become tensed and comforted me. Even asked me to tag along if I could handle the situation. He said that she’s now just a good ‘family friend’. And, that no one could snatch him away from me. That what’s important is that I’m the present…

Minutes later, we went back to normal conversation. About how our respective days went and so on… We discussed about why a man leaves his girl and finds comfort in another one. Then he said…

“Ikaw, hindi kita iiwan. Wala akong mahanap na rason para iwan ka eh.”

 

***

September 2007. It was our monthsary.

I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days. I wanted to find out something about Y. So, I opened up the topic while we were talking about us. I said I wanted to make a blog about him – his past relationships and the girls that were linked to him.

He thought it was a great idea. I gave him a yellow pad paper for him to list his girls (I told him to include even the present ones – flings or not) in alphabetical order. And, he did. I saw some names I know. Some from his friendster profile and some that I’ve met already (Cate was in the list!).

He was fine with the project at first and cooperated well. In fact, he already started narrating some of the stories with some of his ex-girlfriends already. Then, realization dawned on him. He stopped abruptly. He became aware that there would be a lot of negative possibilities in this project that I proposed. It could ruin our relationship.

Well, it’s true. But I really wanted to know about Cate, Ciara and Joan (the girl who has a crush on him and he claimed as a friend only — the one in the laundry slip). The truth hurts I know, but at least it might lessen all the suspicions I have. I was still determined to pursue the project till we had our lunch.

We ate at a Binalot restaurant near Crossings. As we waited for our food to arrive, Y told met to forget about the project already. It would only ruin us. I stayed quiet. Then the waitress arrived and served the food.

Finally, I broke my silence. Or at least, a fly did.

There’s a fly in my Beef Tapa meal and yet, I wasn’t so angry about it. In fact, it slapped me with an analogy.

I immediately called for the waitress and asked her to replace my meal. BUT, I don’t want it to be the same dish. I quickly scanned the menu and picked a different meal. I said I want it to be the replacement for the Beef Tapa with fly.

Then I turned to Y. He was gazing at me with a curious look. I smiled and said that I’ll no longer continue the project.

I didn’t have my meal replaced with the same dish for fear that they might just remove the fly and serve the same dish to me. Then my request for replacement would just be useless. It’s the same for the project. If I pursue it, it would just open up some wounds and cause conflict to us. Then we’ll just break-up all because of his past. And I can’t let that to ruin us.

When we arrived home, I asked Y to tear the list he created. I even joked about it, telling him to do it already before I change my mind and start memorizing all those names. He chuckled and obeyed.

 

***

After four years, I realized, if I pursued that blog then The Three Love Stories might not have existed at all. It might have been two only. Or worse, I might have been blogging about “The Diaries of a So-Called Pinoy Gigolo”. Anyway, I might not have been able to memorize all the names in his list but I am certain that Cate, Ciara and Joan were there (in fact my name was there too – it actually irritated me that I was in that list along with his ex-girlfriends). Which only means that there was really something between him and Cate, and Joan. One-night stand? Fling? That, I do not know… Besides, he never answered me when I asked who among those names were the serious ones except for Ciara? Well, I don’t give a damn now.

 

To be continued…